


All isn't Quite Fair in Love and War

by AliceAktorka



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Disguise, F/F, Flashbacks, Gem War, Memories, Post-Gem War, Pre-Gem War, Rebellion, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 05:07:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20687987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceAktorka/pseuds/AliceAktorka
Summary: Pearl sat down at the beach and watched the ocean waves. As she did so, she allowed her memories take over and she recounts her experiences with Pink Diamond, otherwise known as Rose Quartz. She remembered all of the emotions and thoughts she had during various moments of her existence and how much Rose meant to her.The pink Gem had changed Pearl's life, in more ways than one.





	All isn't Quite Fair in Love and War

Pearl sat on the beach sand with her legs crossed. She watched the waves roar and then crash onto the surface, gently foaming and moving across the land before retreating into the ocean to repeat the cycle again. The quiet serenity of the water created the perfect ambience for Pearl to let her mind wander aimlessly. She closed her eyes and let the thoughts come to her in whatever direction or speed they chose. Eventually, her train of thought traveled backwards enough to the very beginning, more than six thousand years ago. Frankly, it was hard for Pearl to fathom that it had been literal millenia since her existence began. 

At the beginning there was always one thought on the Gem’s mind. 

Pink Diamond.

_ Her _ Diamond.

Pearl’s very purpose was to be there for Pink whenever she requested for her Pearl. True, being a Pearl meant she was at the very bottom of the social pyramid, but she didn’t put much thought to that. She kept on the track set out for her and was rather happy with her life.

As time went on, Pearl caught glimpses of the struggles Pink Diamond had to face. Pearl was among one of the only to see Pink’s true emotions, raw without any viel blocking them from view. Pearl had felt immense concern whenever she witnessed a bad moment for Pink, which was often. She did all she could for her Diamond, but always felt like she wasn’t doing well enough. There had to be something more, a way to brighten Pink up. 

For a long period of time, Pearl had no idea what that method or solution could be. After all, she was just a Pearl, a servant for Pink’s wishes, requests and demands. She didn’t have much free will or outside resources. 

Everything had changed that one day on the moonbase however. Pink had been so desperate to go to Earth, and to speak with the Gems being created there, not as a ruler, but as a friend. Pearl had shown her the Kindergarten and the newly formed Amethysts using the projector, but it still wasn’t enough for Pink. Pearl could still recall the sad longing and disappointment in her ruler’s eyes. The servant Gem had felt an aching in her heart and a great desire to finally find a way to make Pink happier after the many times the Diamond had appeared so glum. 

So, when Pink requested Pearl imagine the Diamond interacting with the Amethysts on Earth, Pearl had obliged, projecting the scene using her gem. Pink had then commented how furious the other Diamonds would be if they got news Pink was spending time on Earth. 

Pearl could have, and probably should have, tried to reassure Pink without twisting the rules and disrespecting the trust and responsibility the Diamonds had entrusted upon Pink. 

Pearl shouldn’t have suggested doing the exact opposite.

Yet, she went against the parameters the other three Diamonds had deliberately set. To this day, she couldn’t put a finger on exactly why she did it. 

Perhaps it was desperation to see Pink genuinely happy, or the first few sparks of rebellion inside Pearl that would later ignite to a flame, she couldn’t be sure. One way or another, however, something inside of the Gem told her to suggest going to Earth without the other Diamonds knowing. 

And so, the future of Pearl, Pink, and the Earth as a whole changed the moment Pearl said those four simple words: “They won’t find out”. She had uttered the words with such ease, totally unaware of the drastic effects it would have on the future, in both the positive and negative connotations. When Pink had questioned how the Diamonds would be unable to know about Pink going to Earth, Pearl explained the idea of a disguise. Pink could go to Earth not as a Diamond, but as a Quartz soldier. That way, it would both be easier for her to speak and connect with the soldiers there, and she could escape being found out and scolded by the other three Diamonds, who no doubt wouldn’t be pleased the moment they heard that Pink had stepped foot onto the planet she was sent to colonize.

Ever since that day, Pearl had continued to stick by Pink’s side, or rather, Rose Quartz’s side. The longer the incognito ruler spent on the planet Earth, the more attached she became to the life that thrived there and called it their home. She saw Earth as a rare and unique place that ought not to be ruined for the Diamonds’ own gain. Everything that Rose pointed out to Pearl as fascinating or beautiful to her, became a thing of great importance and beauty to Pearl as well, for if it made Rose happy, it made Pearl happy. As time went on, Pearl felt more like her own Gem; being on this planet made her feel free and unrestrained, no longer held back by the chains of her social placement back on Homeworld. Though Earth wasn’t the full reason she thought this way. The main influence on her change of viewpoint was of course, Rose. The Gem always encouraged Pearl to do what she wanted and to behave less formally, not only because Rose was in disguise, but simply because acting in such a manner may not be what Pearl actually desired to do with her existence. Still though, she felt an utmost importance to do anything and everything Rose instructed her to do, due to how highly she regarded the disguised Diamond. 

That isn’t to say Pearl wasn’t shocked when Rose suggested rebelling against the Diamonds. The servant Gem definitely was caught way off guard, and had to ask a few times to be sure she had heard the pink Gem correctly. Sure enough, Rose had developed such a bond to the planet and its inhabitants that she wanted to protect it. Pearl wasn’t quite sure what to make of this new revelation, but eventually went on board with the idea when she noticed Rose’s significant change in behavior after getting to know Earth. Before the planet had been assigned to the now disguised Diamond, Pink always had a sad and dejected look in her eyes. She never walked with the authority and determination a ruler would be expected to have. She always appeared lost and unsure of herself, like her life was a giant terrifying labyrinth she didn’t want to enter. However, after becoming Rose, the Gem always seemed to have a pep in her step, liveliness alight in her eyes. She could move forward with drive and assurance. She’d finally found her purpose, and now she wanted to protect it. Pearl couldn’t help but admire and respect the Gem’s change of heart. Due to this, and her assigned duty to keep Pink happy, Pearl came to agree and joined Rose’s side. 

As time and the rebellion went on, Rose continued to persevere, no matter what was thrown her way. Even when things looked dire and grim, she kept going, striving towards her goal of defending Earth from any and all harm that may come its way because of the Diamonds. Whenever there was even the briefest of pauses in the war, Rose would proceed in her exploration of the planet and the many habitats that supported its life, always finding new things to fend for. Meanwhile, Pearl followed her close behind, gradually becoming more free-willed. No matter what changed in her perspectives, one thing remained unfaltered: her feelings and reverence towards Rose. If anything, they only strengthened. Pearl would do quite literally anything that Rose would request of her, but this time not only because it was what she was made to do, but rather, because she wanted to. The way Rose regarded life on Earth inspired Pearl in ways nothing had ever before. 

Even when it came to concepts regarded as taboo back on Homeworld, Pink Diamond embraced them with open arms, such as the Ruby and Sapphire fusion she and Pearl would come across that would later become known as Garnet. The two Gems had come from Homeworld on a mission to report on the rebels and therefore should have been seen as a threat or an enemy, but Rose didn’t see them that way. Though the war was already ongoing, she welcomed the former Homeworlders into her group happily, curiously asking questions about what it was like to fuse and how the two of them felt. Pearl had to admit, she was quite intrigued by Garnet as well, and the fusion would prove herself to be a crucial ally later on in the war. Her strength and power due to the combination of two Gems working together became useful in a fight. 

Meanwhile, the war continued onwards, almost seeming interminable without any possible end in sight. Occasionally the rebel group which called itself the Crystal Gems would gain a new member, such as Bismuth. Still, the rebels remained heavily outnumbered, but Rose’s healing powers came useful for combating that issue. Even if Rose couldn’t heal, Pearl wouldn’t let anything stop her. When situations became bleak, she put her all into everything, risking herself plenty of times in order to protect Rose Quartz. It didn’t seem to matter to her that she was reverting back to her Gem form an unnatural amount of times. As soon as she was able to come back, new strength and tenacity powered through her. She would keep going and never stop, all in the name of Rose. To Pearl, Rose meant everything. She showed Pearl that she was worth more than just being a servant. She could go whatever path she chose. It was often that a Pearl would be treated as if they meant nothing, that they could be overlooked even when they were right in front of another Gem. Rose made Pearl feel like she was worth everything, that she had emotions which deserved to be respected. However, Pearl knew that in the long run, she was easily replaceable. There were plenty of other Pearls out there, and more would be created. Rose, though, was irreplaceable. It was highly likely another Diamond would not be created, and after all that the pink Gem had shown and taught Pearl, the former servant would not let Rose become a casualty in the war, even if that meant putting Pearl’s own existence at risk.

Despite their seemingly constant roles in the rebellion, Pearl and Rose had other matters to attend to as well, mainly regarding their other lives. As the war wore tiringly on, the meetings Pink had to attend continued to pile up. Yellow, Blue and White were all getting increasingly agitated with the slow pace Pink was taking with the colonization process of Earth. Every time she was questioned about it, she gave an excuse, such as the large number of organic life or the cities they created that would be difficult to dismantle. It appeared each lie grew more and more desperate as Pink grew fearful something horrible would happen to her and the planet if she told what she was really doing and how she truly felt about the Earth. However, when the Crystal Gems became her latest excuse, the Diamonds had just about enough of it. Once again, Pink was verbally reprimanded for her behaviors, being told she wasn’t acting as a Diamond should, that she was being too foolish. Though, there was one thing that Blue specifically had said that Pearl could tell set Pink’s gears turning as she came up with a new plan. 

“As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed,” Blue had stated cooly. Pink lowered her head and appeared downcast, but in actuality, as Pearl would later learn, she was pushing away a faint smile from forming on her lips.

Little did all of the Gems in the entirety of the universe know, Pink was about to set on her most drastic plan yet, one that would forever change the course of history.

Pink was going to fake her own shattering.

Pearl remembered Pink explaining it to her as Rose, looking quite excited. The ruler was completely and utterly convinced it was the best course of action to take. In her eyes, it was the perfect combination of outcomes. Pink would no longer have to feel held down by her role as a Diamond and would escape the pushing around she’d experienced from the other Diamonds. Earth would no longer have a ruler to look up to for the completion of the colony, so it was very likely the process would slow and hopefully come to a halt. 

Pearl, on the other hand, wasn’t quite sure about the idea. It went against everything Pink was created for, it went against Pearl’s purpose. None of it would matter if they went through with the idea. Couldn’t there be another way through this? 

No matter what Pearl said, Pink’s outlook wouldn’t falter. She argued how much Blue and Yellow didn’t care and how easy the trick would be. She was aware of how ludicrous it all sounded, but she wanted to go through with it anyway. She didn’t care about her life as Pink or her status as a ruler to Homeworld. She cared about Earth, the Crystal Gems, and being Rose. She wanted to be free.

In the end, Pearl was swayed into agreeing. Not long afterwards, Pink shifted her appearance to that of the Diamond ruler she was created as one final time. She gave her last order to Pearl, which was to never tell anyone about the truth. No one could know. No one should know. 

With that, Pearl disguised herself as Rose, pretended to shatter Pink and scattered faux Gem shards onto the ground, forever destroying Pink’s former life.

After that moment, drastic changes occurred, just as Pearl had predicted. The Diamonds retreated, causing corruption on their way out. The war came to a close.

Throughout it all, Rose appeared accomplished and happy with the decision she had made, and therefore, so did Pearl. Life turned rather quiet and peaceful for the Crystal Gems, save for a few Gem-related missions here and there, but it was much tamer in comparison to what they had to experience during the war. They even recruited a new member to the group, an Amethyst soldier who had come out later and smaller than the rest of the Gems like her.

As time continued its path, Pearl was able to properly experience feelings, no longer having her status as a Diamond’s Pearl or her role in the war floating over her head. One emotion in particular remained present as the years went on.

Love.

Pearl hadn’t known what such a thing could be like, never knew she’d ever experience it, let alone be experiencing it subconsciously. She recalled feeling especially strange one day and running around in figurative circles trying to figure out exactly what it meant. Garnet approached Pearl, seeing the very obvious nervous perplexion on Pearl’s face. Garnet asked what seemed to be troubling her, and Pearl couldn’t help but let it all out. She told the fusion about how her cheeks would flush a blue-green color every time Rose said a nice comment to Pearl, or something that the pale peach Gem would keep in her memories as a thought that could make her smile. She detailed the want to serve Rose and fulfil her every wish or want quick as can be. She also included how she’d feel knots inside of her whenever Rose went on one of her flings with a human. 

Garnet had simply given Pearl a knowing smile and let out a few short rounds of laughter, causing Pearl to fluster and frown, the blue-green hue spreading on her cheeks again. After recomposing herself, Garnet apologized and explained the questions were like those of Ruby when she and Sapphire were first discovering their feelings for one another. Pearl remained puzzled, unsure of what that had to do with her strange emotions. Pearl was thinking so hard and over complicating things to the point where Garnet just had to say it for her in order for everything to begin clicking into place. 

“You love her,”

It was true. Pearl did love her, with every fiber of her being. No matter what form or role Rose took, Pearl would always adore her. She’d continuously stick by her side through thick and thin, for Rose made Pearl feel significant and worth the time of others. Because of this, Pearl was indebted to her.

Even after properly identifying the emotions she was experiencing, they continued to confuse Pearl, but Garnet helped her through it. Pearl had also tried to tell Rose the truth, but always shied away from it for several reasons that would constantly be changed, such as Pearl’s feeling that it wasn’t right for her to have that deep of a connection with Rose, or that it would negatively change Rose’s perception of Pearl, or, most commonly, she’d go with the excuse that Rose already had romantic love, even if the person she held love for was constantly switching. 

No matter how hard she tried, Pearl couldn’t muster up the courage to do it. Whenever this happened, she’d laugh to herself, for it was quite crazy how she had fought in a war and yet remained terrified of saying something to the Gem who she always looked up to. Emotions were quite strange that way.

Years went by, and the relationship between Pearl and Rose remained unchanged. Rose still went to Pearl first about feelings and secrets, and Pearl still strived to follow Rose’s every command. Pearl was admittedly a bit disappointed in herself that she still hadn’t spoken up, but would then calm herself down by telling herself that things were just fine the way they were, which was true. Pearl was happy with her life on Earth and would continue to be even if her feelings were never reciprocated. 

Then, Greg happened. 

At first, Pearl didn’t think much of it. She figured it would be another one of those short term relationships Rose often held with humans, which was something Pearl could never understand regarding the lifespan of humans. Pearl kept reassuring herself that soon enough Rose would move on and Greg would become a thing of the past. 

Oh, how wrong she was.

The day that Rose told of her pregnancy and what it would mean for her existence was a day that would be permanently seared into Pearl’s psyche. Rose had looked so happy with her choice, and although Pearl knew she should be happy for Rose, she simply couldn’t. It was impossible for her to wrap her head around the concept that Rose would give herself up like that. Pearl wanted to argue with Rose, to tell her what a mistake she would be making, and how seemingly impossible it would be for the Crystal Gems to continue on without her, but ultimately, Pearl held back. She knew Rose had already made her decision, and Pearl had to respect that. 

It was just so...difficult.

The final days Rose existed, Pearl clung to her as much as possible, never wanting to let go, not wanting to face the reality that she’d soon be gone, unable to return. She remained in denial throughout it all. When Steven was first born and Rose disappeared, Pearl was still dubious about where Rose could be. Surely Rose was still alive somewhere within Steven, right?

Eventually, Pearl came to terms with reality. She had no other choice but to face it. 

The Gem she had been made for, who had taught her she was worthwhile, who had so bravely protected Earth, who acted as a leader to the Crystal Gems, the one Pearl held near and dear to her heart and loved the most, was gone. She’d never come back. 

It took a very long time, and honestly, Pearl wasn’t entirely sure she was completely over it to this day, but Pearl accepted Steven and cared for him as much as she could. As Steven grew older, Pearl did love him as well, acting as the mothers she’d seen on Earth behave towards their young. She did it all for her, and now she did it for him.

Pearl opened her eyes and looked out at the ocean again with blurry vision, her mind on the present once more. She hadn’t realized it, but she had begun to cry while she reminisced. She let the tears gently plip onto the sandy shore, allowing her emotions to go as they wished. She let out another sigh, a happy one this time. Rose may be gone, but her spirit still lived on in Steven and the Crystal Gems as a whole. She’d directed Pearl to be the Gem she was today, and Pearl was forever grateful. She’d strive on with Rose’s memory in her heart. 

She turned her head up to the sky, observing as the day gave way to the night and stars began to twinkle brightly.

“Thank you…” Pearl murmured. “For everything…”


End file.
